https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5WjcCG93lk
그리고 그녀에게 "네 생각을 하고 있어"라는 메시지를 보냈어요.
그녀가 답장을 보냈는데, 이렇게 적혀 있더군요.
"안녕, 잘 지내길 바라. 솔직히 말하자면, 네가 이런 메시지를 보낼 때마다 어떻게 답해야 할지 모르겠어. 우리, 솔직히 꽤 오랫동안 그렇게 가까운 사이도 아니었잖아. 맞든 틀리든 간에, 이런 메시지는 관심을 끌기 위한 시도로 보이기도 해."
그 말은 저한테 꽤 아프게 다가왔어요. 첫째로, 그게 사실이었기 때문이죠. 제가 보낸 메시지의 친밀함이나 애정이 우리의 현재 관계의 온도와 완전히 어긋나 있다는 걸 그녀가 지적한 거였어요.
그리고 그녀가 "맞든 틀리든, 이건 관심을 끌기 위한 시도로 보이기도 해"라고 말했을 때, 그 표현 방식 자체가 굉장히 강력한 언어 구조라고 느꼈어요.
왜냐하면 이 말은, "내가 틀렸을 수도 있어"라는 의미도 담고 있잖아요. 그런 경우에는, 마치 "내가 틀렸다는 걸 증명해 보이셔도 좋아요"라는 암시를 주는 것처럼 느껴지거든요.
그 메시지를 받고 나서, 저는 즉시 스스로를 돌아보게 됐어요.
And I sent her a message that said, "I'm thinking of you." She sent me a message back that said, "Hey, I hope you're well. To be honest, when you send me things like that, I don't really know what to say. We haven't really been that close for a while now, and rightly or wrongly, this message comes across as a bid for attention." That stung, firstly because it was true. What that's pointing out is that the intimacy of what I just sent, or the affection of what I just sent, is completely out of sync with the temperature of our dynamic. Then when she said, "Rightly or wrongly, it comes across as a bid for attention," even that is a very powerful language structure. Because what you're saying is, "I might be wrong," in which case, it's almost like the subtext is, "You're more than welcome to prove me wrong." When you send that, for me, immediately, I was like—I caught myself.
Core Expressions
"I'm thinking of you" (네 생각을 하고 있어)
When someone’s going through a tough time, a simple "I'm thinking of you" can mean a lot.
누군가 힘든 시간을 보내고 있을 때, 간단한 "네 생각을 하고 있어"라는 말이 큰 힘이 될 수 있어요.
to be honest (솔직히 말하자면)
To be honest, I don’t think this plan will work.
솔직히 말하자면, 이 계획이 잘 될 것 같지 않아.
comes across as (~처럼 보이다)
His comment comes across as rude, even if he didn’t mean it that way.
그의 말은 의도하지 않았더라도 무례하게 보일 수 있어.
bid for attention (관심을 끌기 위한 시도)
Posting too many selfies might look like a bid for attention.
너무 많은 셀카를 올리는 건 관심을 끌려는 시도로 보일 수 있어.
out of sync with (~와 맞지 않다)
His humor was completely out of sync with the tone of the meeting.
그의 유머는 회의의 분위기와 완전히 맞지 않았어.
rightly or wrongly (맞든 틀리든)
Rightly or wrongly, people tend to judge you by your appearance.
Life Lesson
This interaction highlights the importance of self-awareness and understanding social dynamics. Relationships are like dances—you need to move in rhythm with the other person. When you step out of sync, it’s a chance to reflect on your intentions and the state of the relationship.
Actionable Challenge:
This week, think about one relationship in your life that might feel "out of sync." Reflect on what kind of messages or actions would genuinely match its current dynamic.
Extra Expressions
Match the energy (에너지를 맞추다)
In conversations, it’s essential to match the energy of the other person.
Know your place (자신의 위치를 알다)
Successful communication often comes from being able to know your place in the relationship.
Meet them where they are (상대방의 상황에 맞춰 다가가다)
Instead of pushing, try to meet them where they are emotionally.
Out of alignment (조화롭지 않다)
Our goals feel a bit out of alignment lately, so we need to talk.
Overstep a boundary (경계를 넘다)
Sometimes, we unintentionally overstep a boundary when we’re emotional.